You could sit, in prison, and hear about “fairness” all day if you wanted to! What is… what isn’t… who got fucked-over… who didn’t… whose life is better and whose life is worse! These are generally precursors to the bigger conversation of “why?”, which allows for the minimizing and shifting of the blame and responsibilities.

These are the conversations, around me, that’ve become an all too common part of my day. And, of course, it was through little to no fault of their own (mostly no fault), that they’re in the situation they’re in now.

For me, I’m more a believer of the philosophy, that you “reap what you so”… not so much in the Biblical-sense, but more in the Karmic-sense… you do good/ you get good, you do bad/ you get bad! That Karma will always create a balance to our actions… and that there is always an effect to the actions we take in our life. It may not always be an immediate effect, but one that follows the actions taken in that life. At least, for me, this is one motivator I’ve chosen to include in my life and towards my decision-making process. And from someone who’s accumulated an excessive amount of bad-Karma in this Life… I work hard to change that balance and create the possibility of some better outcomes and effects, to future actions.

And its been this way of thinking, that’s had me so confused by some of the things I’ve seen happen! Those hardships & bad-times that plague the lives of some of the best people. It’s a contradiction to an entire way of thinking and an entire way of living.

I was always told, growing up, that everything happens for a reason… that God has a plan, for us all. I would have to say, that that “reason” and “plan” has eluded me most days! Especially when I see death, disease or suffering happen to young children… who are still innocent to the bad that goes on in the world. Or when I see those people, who live their lives (genuinely) doing good & doing right… who end up suffering from unnecessary loss, disease or hard-times.

Now, I know that these types of injustices and examples of unfairness happen every day… all over the world. But, it’s been a continued bombardment of Cancer, on my Mother, that has me questioning the Universe’s reasoning! 26 yrs ago she was successful in her 1st battle with Cancer. Then last year, she took on Cancer in another form… she was once again successful. Only to be confronted by the possibility of yet another battle with Cancer, right now!

This makes absolutely no sense to me! I mean most people will say how good a person is and how undeserving they are of the misfortunes in their lives. But, this woman is so much better than the hand she’s been dealt… she is the living definition of a person who lives a good & Godly-life. And beyond those health scares… there’s still all the unnecessary pain, that I’ve brought into her life, via my many years of many bad decisions! At least the cause to those can be identified. But, when is enough enough & how much is gonna be enough?!

I don’t know… this has just been something that’s been bothering me for a long time, which was just reinforced after recent revelations. To me, my Mother is the best person I know… without compare! And I’m not a big one to get into the conversations of, what’s fair & not fair. Because I believe we create what we receive in life… through the energy we put out and the actions we take. But, nothing about this seems fair to me and none of that applies when it comes to her! I know a lot of people can relate to this, but it still doesn’t help me understand “why?”. I just thank God (whose plan I don’t understand), that she’s been strong enough to put up a successful fight and maintain that same goodness & positive outlook!

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